Dementia Answers: How Do You Respond To Hurtful Remarks?
- Team Writer
- 9 hours ago
- 2 min read
Video Transcript [Answer 1021]
Welcome and thank you for joining me. Today, we're talking about how to respond to hurtful remarks made by someone living with Dementia.
These comments can feel painful, but it's important to remember that they are usually symptoms of the underlying disease or disorder, not the person.
Why Can Dementia Patients Make Hurtful Remarks?
Changes in the brain can cause confusion, frustration, or loss of social filters, leading someone to say things they never would've said before. Moreover, circumstances, the environment, your presence, and the other person's perspective on the situation may trigger responses beyond the person's control. A common symptom for someone living with Dementia is increased impulsiveness.
How to Handle Hurtful Remarks
The first step is to stay calm. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that words are just words, and that the person living with Dementia may no longer have the ability to express themselves as they once did. Do your best not to argue or correct the person, as this can make the situation worse.
Instead, focus on the feelings behind the words. A hurtful remark often comes from fear, anger, or discomfort. For example, if they say something unkind, you might respond with reassurance: "I love you," "I'm here for you," or "You're safe with me."
Redirecting attention can also help. Gently change the subject to something comforting, like a favorite song, a pleasant memory, or a simple activity. Sometimes distraction is the best way to ease tension. It may also help to step away briefly if the remark feels too upsetting. Caring for someone with Dementia is challenging, and protecting your own emotional health is essential.
Later, talk with family members and others to share your feelings with people who understand. It can make the burden lighter. Remember, it is the illness speaking, not your loved one's true heart. Responding with patience, kindness, and compassion can make these difficult moments easier.
On behalf of the Dementia Society of America®, thank you again for joining me today. Stay informed, stay healthy, and take care of yourself.
Disclaimer: Dementia Society of America (DSA) provides educational content only and does not offer medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your medical care. DSA content is created by both human and computer-generated means and is reviewed for accuracy; however, errors may occur. Views expressed by third-party contributors do not necessarily reflect those of DSA. Unless expressly stated, DSA does not endorse or guarantee any third-party products, services, organizations, or external content. All DSA content is copyrighted and/or trademarked and may not be used without written permission.
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